Get a Grip! … and get some REAL self-esteem!

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A few days ago I sent out an email with the subject line “Do I need Botox?”

One of my readers was not impressed.

You see, a little earlier one of my kids pointed out the eleven that appears on my forehead when I forget my sunglasses before a drive down to Albuquerque. He said it makes me look “mad”.

I have to say, it made me feel a little nuts… And made me wonder whether Botox would be in order.

Because I’m not worried about looking old. I’m a late bloomer and people usually guess that I’m younger than I am. But I don’t want to be one of those people with R.B.F. (resting bitch face).

As a copywriter, I’m always interested in what motivates people to buy different things. This was the first time I was even remotely interested in Botox, so I concluded that the fear of looking mad all the time was a bigger push than the fear of looking older. At least where Botox is concerned.

That’s when my reader sent me an email that ended with, “Get a grip. The aging process is not for sissies. It’s never too early to establish REAL self esteem.”

Have you ever noticed that it’s really hard to come up with a snappy comeback when someone accuses you of having low self esteem? I may have retorted, “Well, you know I was just kidding.”

But I wasn’t.

I, like millions of other women, have been obsessing over my wrinkles. We obsess, then buy something, obsess some more, and buy some more. Wanting to look young for as long as possible may very well be a sign of low self esteem. But it’s also a form of self-care.

I know, I really should get a grip. But I won’t. I’m a hot mess of insecurities, irrational phobias, obsessions, grudges and aching desires. And I’m the kind of person who will want to examine and discuss each passing feeling with excruciating detail.

If you don’t like it, don’t sit next to me on the bus.

“Getting a grip” – to me – means not talking about my feelings. If I’m laughing and emailing everyone about my problem areas, things are normal. If I can’t talk or write about my feelings (however irrational or misguided they may seem to others) then I’m really in trouble.

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